Writings

10.4.2024

Today, I invite you to jump into someone else’s shoes. Try to see things from a viewpoint other than your own. Imagine you’re someone with a lot of money and a lot of time and you live in a place surrounded by people who don’t have a lot of either. Some may have one, some may have the other. Because those with money usually work so long that they don’t have much time left over and those with lots of time usually have very little money of their own (although, they may have access to someone else’s, they need permission, so, it’s not the same). 

Now, if you’re someone that has both – a lot of time and a lot of money and you’re around people who don’t – what sort of challenges do you think you might face? Envy? Having to deal with others projecting their belief that you don’t deserve what you have? Or, people meddling in your business and thinking it’s ok to discuss your wealth. Even though they would be offended if you were to tell them how they should spend their money, they have no problem talking about how you should spend yours or how you should help more. So, hypocrisy? Also, maybe, stealing? 

Everytime you need to hire someone to repair something or do your taxes or mow your lawn or even if you’re just trying to be nice and buy art at a craft fair to help someone – they all think it’s ok to rip you off. All of a sudden, a service that usually costs $150 is now $300 or even $500. They figure you have enough money or your insurance company does so they don’t feel bad when they exaggerate, change the price or flat out lie about how big a job is. Likewise, people may feel like it’s ok to borrow money from you and never pay you back because you have enough. 

If these were your challenges, how would you try to prevent this from happening? Maybe, bring someone else with you? Ask to get prices in writing beforehand? What if you do both and it still doesn’t work? Would you tell other people about it? Or maybe, even, try to avoid the entire thing by lying and acting like you don’t have a lot of money anymore? Do you think if this happens enough you’d grow tired of it? You’d feel like everyone is always trying to get something from you. It may make it so you no longer want to be around people all together so you try to quietly distance yourself from them by no longer inviting them anywhere or no longer hiring them.   

Only, now these people become angry because you’re no longer buying them lunches, loaning them money or paying them to do work. They may grow paranoid that you’ll tell everyone that they owe you money or that they change prices. All of a sudden their reputation is at stake. They’re afraid you’ll call them a user or liar. Do you think it’s possible that they’ll try to lie about you or discredit you before you have a chance to tell anyone the truth about them? If so, how would you handle this?

Now, imagine growing up you had one sibling and one cousin who looked exactly like you. People thought you were triplets. Even though you were all a year apart, you looked the same. Older people and anyone you just met always confused you for one of them. Things they did, become things you did and vice versa because people couldn’t tell you apart or couldn’t remember correctly. Do you think it would be possible to be blamed for things one of the others did? How would you try to avoid this? Would you try to set the story straight by talking poorly about someone you care about? Or would you just ignore it because you know the truth and even if you did correct them, they’d have stories to tell about you talking badly about your family. Some people, no matter what you say, they’ll find something negative to say about you or someone you care about. So, instead you just distance yourself from them. 

Now, jump into another scenario. Imagine, for some reason, as far back as you can remember, you’d always had moments of clarity. Random moments of inspiration. Ideas or strong feelings that cross your mind but leave just as fast. At times, you just know things. At school, for some reason, at times, you’re able to pass tests on subjects you know very little about. You can barely read the questions but somehow you just know the answers. No one understands how. They guess you must be cheating but even after watching you more closely, treating you differently, they don’t understand how you can perform so well… sometimes. And you can’t explain how you know things sometimes but moments later, you don’t. You feel different from everyone around you. Do you think it’s possible you would be tempted by things like astrology or tarot reading to help you understand? 

Now, jump into another scenario. You’re beautiful. You have money. You’re well traveled. You have admirers. You also have people who hate you because the people they like or love or are dating or are even married to give you attention. Attention they want. How could you stop this from happening? Admirers- as in, you don’t exactly know any of these people. They just know of you. Maybe you’d try to help them by posting things they’d interpret as- you’re not interested in anyone. Only instead of moving on or leaving well enough, you hear about these people hacking into your accounts, cloning you and your child’s cell phones and joyfully calling you a liar because they’ve found proof that you do secretly wish you had someone. This proves your post was a lie. 

How would you go about helping these people understand that everyone can change their mind? Or help them understand the concept of time. How someone felt 5 or 10 years ago can be different from how they feel today. To you, this is just common sense. It’s difficult for you to drop to their level of thinking. How might you feel then? Bad? Guilty because you think you’re better than them? Do you think you could feel so bad that you just want to give up and gain like 100 pounds so they can just stop thinking their person is interested in you and move on? Also, it’s your way of giving them something to feel better about since you feel bad for thinking you’re better than them. 

What if you did this and they still didn’t stop? They’re still on a mission to humiliate you. People you don’t even know. What could you do? Try to tell people the truth? Ask, why are these people spending so much time hating one person? What if, when you ask these questions and finally get people to think, they start saying even worse things about you to justify everything they’ve done? They have to continue proving how “terrible” a person you are because their own reputations and jobs are on the line. They dedicated so much time and got so many people to help them that their friends and family’s reputations and jobs are also on the line. These people have hacked accounts, violated HIPAA by reading and sharing medical records, cloned phones and broken into houses and apartments. It is crazy the lengths they have gone to and it’s alarming  they don’t have one capable person that is able to help them stop. 

I’m able to see things from different viewpoints.I know what it’s like to have no money and no time. I’ve put myself in their shoes. I’ve imagined what it would be like if I wasn’t happy and heard all these terrible things about someone that I didn’t know. If I paid attention to embarrassing social media from 5 or 10 years ago, shared over and over again by my friends and family of someone they hate. Maybe at first I would join in too. Maybe I would laugh. But I know I wouldn’t waste any more time than that. 

Once I realized that my friends were talking about and making fun of the same person over and over, I’d think something must be wrong with my friends and not whoever they’re talking about. I’d like to think I would even try and help the person they’re all laughing at. I wouldn’t jeopardize my job by discriminating against them and treating them differently. 2024 and people really think it’s ok to not help a customer because they’ve heard gossip about them? Putting their employers at risk by becoming liable. I wouldn’t be stupid enough to do that. 

And I wouldn’t automatically believe everything told to me about someone I didn’t know, especially if I knew the people telling me had no morals or guilt. Hacking, invading privacy and stealing information – anyone who can do this without feeling bad could easily manipulate information, edit videos, get other people to do things to look a certain way. There is no justification for doing this to anyone… no matter what they may or may not have done. 

I know I would also tell my friend, “so what.” You think they’re a liar? You think they steal? You think they’ve subliminally attacked you through their social media posts? You think they copy people? So what?! Don’t you see, you’re wasting your time, your life trying to get back at someone you don’t even know. If you believe all that about them don’t you feel sorry for them? I mean, if that were all true, how sad. Leave them alone and move on. 

The fact that these people can’t move on. The fact that they’re still talking and going out of their way to get other people to join them should say enough. No one of sound mind would feel the need to get so much help attacking one person. It wouldn’t be worth their time – Unless, they’re trying to cover all the things they’ve done. Trying to get people to overlook all the time and resources they’ve used while they were supposed to be working. Deflecting attention. Making excuses or their behavior. 

They had to humiliate this person they didn’t know because they deserve it. 

It’s garbage. Anyone who can’t see that, I don’t know how to help you because regardless of what you choose to believe about someone – everyone deserves the opportunity to do better. To become better. And everyone should have the right to privacy. Any effort to rob someone of this… is wrong. 

And at what point do you just not care anymore?

I’m at that point. I’ve learned to try really hard everyday, not to give my attention to anything or anyone I don’t like. Everyday, I give my attention to everything I have.  Everything I’ve done. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. I know how much I’ve helped my family through the years by letting them stay in my house, paying their bills. And I’m also proud that I’ve learned boundaries and am able to teach my son so many things. Not many women would choose to live in a tiny apartment when they could be in a huge house but I did. And I did it for a long time with terrible neighbors. I did it to help my son learn about the world around him. I grew up around spoiled kids. My mom made sure my sister and I went to the best schools so I saw how kids were given all their pfds once they turned 18 and then I watched them all blow it. They went from having lots to having more. They went into debt maintaining the lifestyles they grew up with because they never learned how to go without. I’m happy that I’ve given my all into teaching my son the importance of waiting. For holding out for what you really want. I stopped buying gifts for holidays and birthdays when my son told me it would be better to save for vacations instead. I was so happy when he told me that. 

And, so, I guess, I can’t care too much about other people looking at me and assuming things because I know I do the exact same thing. Only I don’t see all the things that I’ve been told to see by rumors and gossip- I usually see a bunch of people given a head start in life and they’ve still lost. I see people just barely getting by because they never learned how to plan or budget or go without.  And I think that’s the real root of the problem. At least I can find some solace knowing I’ll likely always have more than any of these people but surprisingly, I really wish they could say the same too. I don’t wish ill on any of these people. I just feel sorry for them. Maybe, these people can feel that around me- but, instead of seeing forgiveness in my sorrow for them- they only see pity. They only see anger. They only see what they are. 

10.4.2024

Today, I invite you to jump into someone else’s shoes. Try to see things from a viewpoint other than your own. Imagine you’re someone with a lot of money and a lot of time and you live in a place surrounded by people who don’t have a lot of either. Some may have one, some may have the other. Because those with money usually work so long that they don’t have much time left over and those with lots of time usually have very little money of their own (although, they may have access to someone else’s, they need permission, so, it’s not the same). 

Now, if you’re someone that has both – a lot of time and a lot of money and you’re around people who don’t – what sort of challenges do you think you might face? Envy? Having to deal with others projecting their belief that you don’t deserve what you have? Or, people meddling in your business and thinking it’s ok to discuss your wealth. Even though they would be offended if you were to tell them how they should spend their money, they have no problem talking about how you should spend yours or how you should help more. So, hypocrisy? Also, maybe, stealing? 

Everytime you need to hire someone to repair something or do your taxes or mow your lawn or even if you’re just trying to be nice and buy art at a craft fair to help someone – they all think it’s ok to rip you off. All of a sudden, a service that usually costs $150 is now $300 or even $500. They figure you have enough money or your insurance company does so they don’t feel bad when they exaggerate, change the price or flat out lie about how big a job is. Likewise, people may feel like it’s ok to borrow money from you and never pay you back because you have enough. 

If these were your challenges, how would you try to prevent this from happening? Maybe, bring someone else with you? Ask to get prices in writing beforehand? What if you do both and it still doesn’t work? Would you tell other people about it? Or maybe, even, try to avoid the entire thing by lying and acting like you don’t have a lot of money anymore? Do you think if this happens enough you’d grow tired of it? You’d feel like everyone is always trying to get something from you. It may make it so you no longer want to be around people all together so you try to quietly distance yourself from them by no longer inviting them anywhere or no longer hiring them.   

Only, now these people become angry because you’re no longer buying them lunches, loaning them money or paying them to do work. They may grow paranoid that you’ll tell everyone that they owe you money or that they change prices. All of a sudden their reputation is at stake. They’re afraid you’ll call them a user or liar. Do you think it’s possible that they’ll try to lie about you or discredit you before you have a chance to tell anyone the truth about them? If so, how would you handle this?

Now, imagine growing up you had one sibling and one cousin who looked exactly like you. People thought you were triplets. Even though you were all a year apart, you looked the same. Older people and anyone you just met always confused you for one of them. Things they did, become things you did and vice versa because people couldn’t tell you apart or couldn’t remember correctly. Do you think it would be possible to be blamed for things one of the others did? How would you try to avoid this? Would you try to set the story straight by talking poorly about someone you care about? Or would you just ignore it because you know the truth and even if you did correct them, they’d have stories to tell about you talking badly about your family. Some people, no matter what you say, they’ll find something negative to say about you or someone you care about. So, instead you just distance yourself from them. 

Now, jump into another scenario. Imagine, for some reason, as far back as you can remember, you’d always had moments of clarity. Random moments of inspiration. Ideas or strong feelings that cross your mind but leave just as fast. At times, you just know things. At school, for some reason, at times, you’re able to pass tests on subjects you know very little about. You can barely read the questions but somehow you just know the answers. No one understands how. They guess you must be cheating but even after watching you more closely, treating you differently, they don’t understand how you can perform so well… sometimes. And you can’t explain how you know things sometimes but moments later, you don’t. You feel different from everyone around you. Do you think it’s possible you would be tempted by things like astrology or tarot reading to help you understand? 

Now, jump into another scenario. You’re beautiful. You have money. You’re well traveled. You have admirers. You also have people who hate you because the people they like or love or are dating or are even married to give you attention. Attention they want. How could you stop this from happening? Admirers- as in, you don’t exactly know any of these people. They just know of you. Maybe you’d try to help them by posting things they’d interpret as- you’re not interested in anyone. Only instead of moving on or leaving well enough, you hear about these people hacking into your accounts, cloning you and your child’s cell phones and joyfully calling you a liar because they’ve found proof that you do secretly wish you had someone. This proves your post was a lie. 

How would you go about helping these people understand that everyone can change their mind? Or help them understand the concept of time. How someone felt 5 or 10 years ago can be different from how they feel today. To you, this is just common sense. It’s difficult for you to drop to their level of thinking. How might you feel then? Bad? Guilty because you think you’re better than them? Do you think you could feel so bad that you just want to give up and gain like 100 pounds so they can just stop thinking their person is interested in you and move on? Also, it’s your way of giving them something to feel better about since you feel bad for thinking you’re better than them. 

What if you did this and they still didn’t stop? They’re still on a mission to humiliate you. People you don’t even know. What could you do? Try to tell people the truth? Ask, why are these people spending so much time hating one person? What if, when you ask these questions and finally get people to think, they start saying even worse things about you to justify everything they’ve done? They have to continue proving how “terrible” a person you are because their own reputations and jobs are on the line. They dedicated so much time and got so many people to help them that their friends and family’s reputations and jobs are also on the line. These people have hacked accounts, violated HIPAA by reading and sharing medical records, cloned phones and broken into houses and apartments. It is crazy the lengths they have gone to and it’s alarming  they don’t have one capable person that is able to help them stop. 

I’m able to see things from different viewpoints.I know what it’s like to have no money and no time. I’ve put myself in their shoes. I’ve imagined what it would be like if I wasn’t happy and heard all these terrible things about someone that I didn’t know. If I paid attention to embarrassing social media from 5 or 10 years ago, shared over and over again by my friends and family of someone they hate. Maybe at first I would join in too. Maybe I would laugh. But I know I wouldn’t waste any more time than that. 

Once I realized that my friends were talking about and making fun of the same person over and over, I’d think something must be wrong with my friends and not whoever they’re talking about. I’d like to think I would even try and help the person they’re all laughing at. I wouldn’t jeopardize my job by discriminating against them and treating them differently. 2024 and people really think it’s ok to not help a customer because they’ve heard gossip about them? Putting their employers at risk by becoming liable. I wouldn’t be stupid enough to do that. 

And I wouldn’t automatically believe everything told to me about someone I didn’t know, especially if I knew the people telling me had no morals or guilt. Hacking, invading privacy and stealing information – anyone who can do this without feeling bad could easily manipulate information, edit videos, get other people to do things to look a certain way. There is no justification for doing this to anyone… no matter what they may or may not have done. 

I know I would also tell my friend, “so what.” You think they’re a liar? You think they steal? You think they’ve subliminally attacked you through their social media posts? You think they copy people? So what?! Don’t you see, you’re wasting your time, your life trying to get back at someone you don’t even know. If you believe all that about them don’t you feel sorry for them? I mean, if that were all true, how sad. Leave them alone and move on. 

The fact that these people can’t move on. The fact that they’re still talking and going out of their way to get other people to join them should say enough. No one of sound mind would feel the need to get so much help attacking one person. It wouldn’t be worth their time – Unless, they’re trying to cover all the things they’ve done. Trying to get people to overlook all the time and resources they’ve used while they were supposed to be working. Deflecting attention. Making excuses or their behavior. 

They had to humiliate this person they didn’t know because they deserve it. 

It’s garbage. Anyone who can’t see that, I don’t know how to help you because regardless of what you choose to believe about someone – everyone deserves the opportunity to do better. To become better. And everyone should have the right to privacy. Any effort to rob someone of this… is wrong. 

And at what point do you just not care anymore?

I’m at that point. I’ve learned to try really hard everyday, not to give my attention to anything or anyone I don’t like. Everyday, I give my attention to everything I have.  Everything I’ve done. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. I know how much I’ve helped my family through the years by letting them stay in my house, paying their bills. And I’m also proud that I’ve learned boundaries and am able to teach my son so many things. Not many women would choose to live in a tiny apartment when they could be in a huge house but I did. And I did it for a long time with terrible neighbors. I did it to help my son learn about the world around him. I grew up around spoiled kids. My mom made sure my sister and I went to the best schools so I saw how kids were given all their pfds once they turned 18 and then I watched them all blow it. They went from having lots to having more. They went into debt maintaining the lifestyles they grew up with because they never learned how to go without. I’m happy that I’ve given my all into teaching my son the importance of waiting. For holding out for what you really want. I stopped buying gifts for holidays and birthdays when my son told me it would be better to save for vacations instead. I was so happy when he told me that. 

And, so, I guess, I can’t care too much about other people looking at me and assuming things because I know I do the exact same thing. Only I don’t see all the things that I’ve been told to see by rumors and gossip- I usually see a bunch of people given a head start in life and they’ve still lost. I see people just barely getting by because they never learned how to plan or budget or go without.  And I think that’s the real root of the problem. At least I can find some solace knowing I’ll likely always have more than any of these people but surprisingly, I really wish they could say the same too. I don’t wish ill on any of these people. I just feel sorry for them. Maybe, these people can feel that around me- but, instead of seeing forgiveness in my sorrow for them- they only see pity. They only see anger. They only see what they are. 

10.4.2024

Today, I invite you to jump into someone else’s shoes. Try to see things from a viewpoint other than your own. Imagine you’re someone with a lot of money and a lot of time and you live in a place surrounded by people who don’t have a lot of either. Some may have one, some may have the other. Because those with money usually work so long that they don’t have much time left over and those with lots of time usually have very little money of their own (although, they may have access to someone else’s, they need permission, so, it’s not the same). 

Now, if you’re someone that has both – a lot of time and a lot of money and you’re around people who don’t – what sort of challenges do you think you might face? Envy? Having to deal with others projecting their belief that you don’t deserve what you have? Or, people meddling in your business and thinking it’s ok to discuss your wealth. Even though they would be offended if you were to tell them how they should spend their money, they have no problem talking about how you should spend yours or how you should help more. So, hypocrisy? Also, maybe, stealing? 

Everytime you need to hire someone to repair something or do your taxes or mow your lawn or even if you’re just trying to be nice and buy art at a craft fair to help someone – they all think it’s ok to rip you off. All of a sudden, a service that usually costs $150 is now $300 or even $500. They figure you have enough money or your insurance company does so they don’t feel bad when they exaggerate, change the price or flat out lie about how big a job is. Likewise, people may feel like it’s ok to borrow money from you and never pay you back because you have enough. 

If these were your challenges, how would you try to prevent this from happening? Maybe, bring someone else with you? Ask to get prices in writing beforehand? What if you do both and it still doesn’t work? Would you tell other people about it? Or maybe, even, try to avoid the entire thing by lying and acting like you don’t have a lot of money anymore? Do you think if this happens enough you’d grow tired of it? You’d feel like everyone is always trying to get something from you. It may make it so you no longer want to be around people all together so you try to quietly distance yourself from them by no longer inviting them anywhere or no longer hiring them.   

Only, now these people become angry because you’re no longer buying them lunches, loaning them money or paying them to do work. They may grow paranoid that you’ll tell everyone that they owe you money or that they change prices. All of a sudden their reputation is at stake. They’re afraid you’ll call them a user or liar. Do you think it’s possible that they’ll try to lie about you or discredit you before you have a chance to tell anyone the truth about them? If so, how would you handle this?

Now, imagine growing up you had one sibling and one cousin who looked exactly like you. People thought you were triplets. Even though you were all a year apart, you looked the same. Older people and anyone you just met always confused you for one of them. Things they did, become things you did and vice versa because people couldn’t tell you apart or couldn’t remember correctly. Do you think it would be possible to be blamed for things one of the others did? How would you try to avoid this? Would you try to set the story straight by talking poorly about someone you care about? Or would you just ignore it because you know the truth and even if you did correct them, they’d have stories to tell about you talking badly about your family. Some people, no matter what you say, they’ll find something negative to say about you or someone you care about. So, instead you just distance yourself from them. 

Now, jump into another scenario. Imagine, for some reason, as far back as you can remember, you’d always had moments of clarity. Random moments of inspiration. Ideas or strong feelings that cross your mind but leave just as fast. At times, you just know things. At school, for some reason, at times, you’re able to pass tests on subjects you know very little about. You can barely read the questions but somehow you just know the answers. No one understands how. They guess you must be cheating but even after watching you more closely, treating you differently, they don’t understand how you can perform so well… sometimes. And you can’t explain how you know things sometimes but moments later, you don’t. You feel different from everyone around you. Do you think it’s possible you would be tempted by things like astrology or tarot reading to help you understand? 

Now, jump into another scenario. You’re beautiful. You have money. You’re well traveled. You have admirers. You also have people who hate you because the people they like or love or are dating or are even married to give you attention. Attention they want. How could you stop this from happening? Admirers- as in, you don’t exactly know any of these people. They just know of you. Maybe you’d try to help them by posting things they’d interpret as- you’re not interested in anyone. Only instead of moving on or leaving well enough, you hear about these people hacking into your accounts, cloning you and your child’s cell phones and joyfully calling you a liar because they’ve found proof that you do secretly wish you had someone. This proves your post was a lie. 

How would you go about helping these people understand that everyone can change their mind? Or help them understand the concept of time. How someone felt 5 or 10 years ago can be different from how they feel today. To you, this is just common sense. It’s difficult for you to drop to their level of thinking. How might you feel then? Bad? Guilty because you think you’re better than them? Do you think you could feel so bad that you just want to give up and gain like 100 pounds so they can just stop thinking their person is interested in you and move on? Also, it’s your way of giving them something to feel better about since you feel bad for thinking you’re better than them. 

What if you did this and they still didn’t stop? They’re still on a mission to humiliate you. People you don’t even know. What could you do? Try to tell people the truth? Ask, why are these people spending so much time hating one person? What if, when you ask these questions and finally get people to think, they start saying even worse things about you to justify everything they’ve done? They have to continue proving how “terrible” a person you are because their own reputations and jobs are on the line. They dedicated so much time and got so many people to help them that their friends and family’s reputations and jobs are also on the line. These people have hacked accounts, violated HIPAA by reading and sharing medical records, cloned phones and broken into houses and apartments. It is crazy the lengths they have gone to and it’s alarming  they don’t have one capable person that is able to help them stop. 

I’m able to see things from different viewpoints.I know what it’s like to have no money and no time. I’ve put myself in their shoes. I’ve imagined what it would be like if I wasn’t happy and heard all these terrible things about someone that I didn’t know. If I paid attention to embarrassing social media from 5 or 10 years ago, shared over and over again by my friends and family of someone they hate. Maybe at first I would join in too. Maybe I would laugh. But I know I wouldn’t waste any more time than that. 

Once I realized that my friends were talking about and making fun of the same person over and over, I’d think something must be wrong with my friends and not whoever they’re talking about. I’d like to think I would even try and help the person they’re all laughing at. I wouldn’t jeopardize my job by discriminating against them and treating them differently. 2024 and people really think it’s ok to not help a customer because they’ve heard gossip about them? Putting their employers at risk by becoming liable. I wouldn’t be stupid enough to do that. 

And I wouldn’t automatically believe everything told to me about someone I didn’t know, especially if I knew the people telling me had no morals or guilt. Hacking, invading privacy and stealing information – anyone who can do this without feeling bad could easily manipulate information, edit videos, get other people to do things to look a certain way. There is no justification for doing this to anyone… no matter what they may or may not have done. 

I know I would also tell my friend, “so what.” You think they’re a liar? You think they steal? You think they’ve subliminally attacked you through their social media posts? You think they copy people? So what?! Don’t you see, you’re wasting your time, your life trying to get back at someone you don’t even know. If you believe all that about them don’t you feel sorry for them? I mean, if that were all true, how sad. Leave them alone and move on. 

The fact that these people can’t move on. The fact that they’re still talking and going out of their way to get other people to join them should say enough. No one of sound mind would feel the need to get so much help attacking one person. It wouldn’t be worth their time – Unless, they’re trying to cover all the things they’ve done. Trying to get people to overlook all the time and resources they’ve used while they were supposed to be working. Deflecting attention. Making excuses or their behavior. 

They had to humiliate this person they didn’t know because they deserve it. 

It’s garbage. Anyone who can’t see that, I don’t know how to help you because regardless of what you choose to believe about someone – everyone deserves the opportunity to do better. To become better. And everyone should have the right to privacy. Any effort to rob someone of this… is wrong. 

And at what point do you just not care anymore?

I’m at that point. I’ve learned to try really hard everyday, not to give my attention to anything or anyone I don’t like. Everyday, I give my attention to everything I have.  Everything I’ve done. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. I know how much I’ve helped my family through the years by letting them stay in my house, paying their bills. And I’m also proud that I’ve learned boundaries and am able to teach my son so many things. Not many women would choose to live in a tiny apartment when they could be in a huge house but I did. And I did it for a long time with terrible neighbors. I did it to help my son learn about the world around him. I grew up around spoiled kids. My mom made sure my sister and I went to the best schools so I saw how kids were given all their pfds once they turned 18 and then I watched them all blow it. They went from having lots to having more. They went into debt maintaining the lifestyles they grew up with because they never learned how to go without. I’m happy that I’ve given my all into teaching my son the importance of waiting. For holding out for what you really want. I stopped buying gifts for holidays and birthdays when my son told me it would be better to save for vacations instead. I was so happy when he told me that. 

And, so, I guess, I can’t care too much about other people looking at me and assuming things because I know I do the exact same thing. Only I don’t see all the things that I’ve been told to see by rumors and gossip- I usually see a bunch of people given a head start in life and they’ve still lost. I see people just barely getting by because they never learned how to plan or budget or go without.  And I think that’s the real root of the problem. At least I can find some solace knowing I’ll likely always have more than any of these people but surprisingly, I really wish they could say the same too. I don’t wish ill on any of these people. I just feel sorry for them. Maybe, these people can feel that around me- but, instead of seeing forgiveness in my sorrow for them- they only see pity. They only see anger. They only see what they are.